So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
