hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
