she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize