Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
