If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
