I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
