And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
