areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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