I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This house was built for laser tag.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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