it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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