After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
