If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
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