I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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