Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Blow job season was short but glorious.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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