it was like his penis was on wheels.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
