This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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