I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
