I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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