their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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