You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
should my penis look like a turkey
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
