DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
