I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize