i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
