I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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