his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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