I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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