brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
