In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
