I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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