fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
