I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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