I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
