: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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