Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize