You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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