This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
