I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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