SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
