i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
