just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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