O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
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I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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