it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
