well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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