i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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