I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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