i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
try to milk me bitch
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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