Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
