Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
