Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
