So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
