Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize