Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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