I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
