shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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