She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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