Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just high enough for therapy.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
