I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
