He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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