Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
