I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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