Tell her she can't have a vagina
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
