Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
