the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
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Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
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I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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